Psychology of relationships between man and woman concerns, I believe, every person, especially women. Really, why do some women draw attention the best men, but others women’s relationships don’t turn out? What’s wrong?
Psychology of relationships helps to see the situation from outside. Often, those who enjoy popularity among men don’t have irreproachable appearance, refined taste, and a personality of an angel. So the women who aren’t satisfied with their relationships, don’t have to search the reasons in a mirror. A little breast or bandy feet are not the issue. If you want proof, you’ll find it both in literature and history, and in your company.
To understand what attracts and restrains a man near to a woman, let’s think what attracts us in other people? Why do we strive for certain people oftener, but avoid other people? It’s difficult to understand? No.
Every person strives for connection with such people, whom the person feels comfortable with. Probably, you noticed, that after a conversation you felt yourself either better or worse, that before the conversation. So, either you have got energy or have given it…oк to stick to your state. The thing isn’t notorious energy vampires, so you don’t need carrying garlic in the pocket. Just some people provide us obvious or hidden support, but others strive for weaken us. Although that person can be fond of us outwardly and even show approval, but after the conversation with the person, we are completely washed out. Of course, we begin avoiding him or her in time, even if we don’t realize what’s happening.
Let us now move that on psychology of relationships between men and women. The only reason when a man will strive for a woman – is if he feels good with her, and he feels a surge of power spending time with her. Of course, there are situations, when a man depends on a woman and has to maintain relationships with her even without desire, however we don’t regard such cases now. We mean that the relationship are free from any manipulations.
That is the main secret how to attract and retain another person: to become the person whom he or she will feel good with, however he wouldn’t understand that idea. It seems so easy, that you never think, how difficult it is.
We have come to the most interesting. How to achieve your partner to feel good with you? Unfortunately, many people are sure, that they know what their partner wants. And try at top power to please her or him. Good for them, if their guesses are correct at least partially, but if aren’t? Then we see couples, where one partner is hurt, cause, he/she does everything for partner’s happiness, but the partner doesn’t value it. And another partner is sincerely perplexed, what thanks it may be talking about, if the only thing he/she does is containing negative emotions because of that “worry”. He/she surely comprehends the worry not as a benefit, but as a persistent interference in his/her life.
There is a high probability in such a couple, that it will break up, if a person who’ll satisfy true needs of one person of the couple will come into his/her life. And that will be because the couple didn’t sort out what everyone of them wants.
If you want to find out that just ask your partner about his/her needs. It’s the only way to know that. Of course, don’t expect that your partner will give away a well-prepared list of his/her values. It’s more likely your partner vaguely guesses herself what she likes, and what she doesn’t. Therefore, your task is not only to ask questions, but to listen carefully, what she answers, sorting out for yourself (and for herself) what she realizes only partially. Btw, such interested attention is pleasant for anyone, so you’ll win her over and will do significant step to construction of prolonged relationships.
It’s possible, that somebody isn’t ready to talk about such things at first. That’s her right. That means, you need to earn her trust at first, so she will feel herself out of danger and will want to open up to you. Building a safe expanse for communication with your partner is one from “trump cards” too, which will attract and retain with you as many people as you want. Recall yourself, whom you like to communicate with: with scathing, arrogant persons, who, as you know, will blab all your secrets at the first opportunity? Or with reliable, benevolent, wise interlocutors, prepared to hear out and to support you? The answer is plain. Become such a interlocutor yourself, and you won’t be alone.
Of course that requires some your changes. The truth is you’ll have to do those changes, if your aim – building lengthy relationship with whomever it would be. Much easier to complain, that nature didn’t give you beautiful face, and body to be liked by all women. However, a face and body not the issue. The issue is you, only you. Don’t tell then that you didn’t know that.
One more important thing. It is likely that what you’ll find out about a person will shock you, or you won’t just like it. Don’t condemn her! You will spoil everything. If in response to her revelation you’ll say: ”Oh my god! You’re terrible!” or you will begin reading lectures, then you take risks to find the worst enemy. The thing is when a person opens up to you, then every your imprudent word can hurt her much strongly, then usually.
Getting the information, think what to do with it now. Maybe she’ll lose your attraction, after you find out her biases? Are you ready to apply efforts to correspond with her image of an ideal man? Do you want to build relationship with her, based on her ideas about what relationships are? If you aren’t sure, that you are still interested in this person, thank fate and your partner, cause, she protected you from a wrong choice. It’s far better to recognize chosen one from the beginning of a possible affair, then to encounter with the necessity to come to terms with her whims after stamping stamp in the passport and a conceived child, isn’t? Say your life thank for the experience and move on. If you attracted one woman, you’ll attract others too. So you’ll definitely find the woman, which sake you’ll be ready to change something in yourself for.
Finally let’s recall why that all was started. You’ll have to work on yourself, to become such a man, which your chosen one watch only in dreams. How much strongly will you want to change? It’s your deciding. You can imagine yourself an actor, performing a certain role. Or to be in shoes of some animal)) Maybe your woman dreams about a strong lion, or, maybe, about self-satisfied cat)) The main thing is not to confuse. Such a creative transforming will open bounds, which you didn’t suspect about. And friend of your chosen one will envy her.
It’s necessary to take care of a development of relationship, cause the same image may bore the very conservative lady. What made happy yesterday may bore today and agitate tomorrow. Variety – is one from the most reliable and tested means for maintaining relationships.
But don’t think about that too seriously, as about hard and tedious work. Humor and the possibility to notice something funny in the very unpleasant situation will help you out more than once, if you or your partner will make a blunder. In the end, our life is a performance)) You are performing the main role in your life, and a director is you too. Perform with a pleasure!
